I was so curious about the issues I raised in my first installment of The Birthday Gift and Etiquette post that I decided to do an informal poll among my friends, Citymommy, and on Twitter. I was surprised by the answers and found some commonalities among the responses. The moms of older kids usually had a system down in regard to parties while the moms of toddlers were less sure about having a "policy." Usually, the more kids they have and the older the kids are, the better the strategy :) I guess necessity is truly the "mother" of invention!
One of the questions I asked was whether people had a different budget for gifts they buy for their kids' school friends as opposed to close family friends/playdate friends. Overwhelmingly, the answer was yes. For school friends most people spend around $20-25. For close friends they'll spend closer to $50. This was a relief for me since that's what I suspected people do but since I'm new to the whole "school friend birthday" thing I wasn't sure if that would be considered "cheap."
Another question I was curious about was how people save money on gifts. Lisa S. says she uses "online shopping malls to compare prices" and her hubby likes using www.slickdeals.net. These are some stores that people shop at to "stock up" on gifts: TJ Maxx, Home Goods, Kohl's are some of the popular ones. Gift cards are great because you save on wrapping paper! Also, stocking up on age-appropriate gifts is popular--that way you always have something on hand. This is great online because you can take advantage of free shipping opportunities!
A good friend of mine is a big fan of Gymboree and Crazy 8 and utilizes their Gymbucks and Crazy Cash systems. For Gymbucks, you earn $25 for each $50 that you spend during the earning time. That $25 can be used toward a purchase of $50 during redemption time (which is usually a few weeks after the earning week). That's like $50 off a $100 purchase! For Crazy Cash it's $20 in Crazy Cash earned for every $40 you spend. CC can be used on purchases of $40 increments. If you want to learn more, check out this link. Right now we are in an earning Gymbucks cycle--from Oct. 15 to Jan. 10, 2010. The redemption period will be from Jan. 14-24th, 2010. She has earned over $200 in Gymbucks and gets special treatment from the store--they even call her for reminders and help her find sizes/gifts while at the store!
I also asked people what kinds of gifts they like to get. Many moms like to get books/toys or clothes. Gift cards was a very popular answer as well. Christine Angel says, "I try to give age appropriate gifts. I will stay away from things that I think they may already have. So if they are having a Handy Manny party I wont buy the "popular" Handy Manny toy because chances are someone else will buy it. I try to buy something creative like cool puzzles, games, coloring/art books. If I am really stuck I will go with clothes." Activity-oriented or educational gifts were also popular among moms.
A friend of mine likes to include a small gift like Pokemon cards for the kid to open along with a gift card. She also tipped me off to Learning Express stores (there's one in Englewood). Here's how it works: "They give you a large bin, you walk around the store with your child, filling it with items they want (so you can pick things of all price ranges, and many of them are educational). They give you cards to include in your invitations announcing that your child has a registry at the store. Then your guest goes to the store, picks out a present from the bin, gets it wrapped right there (no charge) and brings it to the party! We've thrown parties right down the road from the store, so it makes it quite convenient for the guests, and it's worked out well on all sides!" Wow, so easy for guests--I love that! Link here.
Another veteran mom of three, Debbie who already commented on the previous post about the "Chip-in Gift" gave me the lowdown on this awesome system: "How we work it is, we first find out what the kid wants. Then an email is sent out, by one of those really organized mothers, to the class and any other school friends that might be invited.
The email usually says "please forward to anyone else who might be interested" and for confirmation of who is interested. Then the cost of the gift is divided by the number of people chipping in and it's requested that the money be dropped at the organized mom's house by a certain date. The price is usually between $15 and $20 dollars a person. Usually we get between 10 -20 people, so the amount is substantial.
We've gotten kids motorized cars, American girl dolls with outfits, really amazing stuff. For the older kids we also chip in, usually for a gift card. We've gotten them cards to sporting goods stores, GameStop, etc. My son received one to the Apple store to help fund the laptop he's saving for. If it's a really good friend, and I want to do something a little more personal, I'll chip in and buy an extra "accessory" that matches the big gift.
For example, some trains for a Thomas set or an extra outfit for an American Girl doll. Our kids all have friends that we feel the need to spend a lot on and others that we don't because, before the invitation arrived, you never knew the kid existed. Either way, the kid doesn't care how much you spend, they just know what they want. If everyone chips in $5 and the kid gets their dream gift, they're ecstatic and their mom's ecstatic because her basement doesn't look like the stock room from Amazing Savings! Emma's birthday is next month and I'm really hoping for a red Pottery Barn kitchen. Unfortunately, I think my daughter has her eye on something way less girly..."
Wow! I'm in awe of that tip and I can't wait to try it out! Another veteran mom, Sue G. has this solution: "[her daughter's] class of 18 students has 7 kids with June b days--all the parents throw one June party, and for gifts, everyone brings a gently used book to swap. We love that!"
To simplify getting gifts from family/friends across the country, my friend has this solution, "I've registered for gifts on amazon.com, and included lots of books. Again, it makes it convenient so that they can take a look, know what we don't have, order online and have them shipped directly. Amazon even has a link you can put in your bookmark browser called "Add to Wish List" so that if you see something online from another vendor you can just add a link directly to your amazon wish list! This works especially well for Christmas also." I did not know that about the bookmarking feature on Amazon--great for creating a universal wish list!
I hope these tips will help you navigate the Birthday Party situation--whether as the gift giver or receiver! I, personally, find the gift purchasing process painful sometimes and stress out way too much over it! These tips will not only save me money but time and possibly a few gray hairs! Feel free to leave your tip below or a favorite from the above.
And Thank You so much to my friends who answered so honestly and wisely and continually support me in my blog-venture! I couldn't do it w/o you!
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